TORY CRISTMAN - BEZAZIAN
Out for eight months!
Orignally posted to the newsgroup alt.religion.scientology in April of 2001
In July of last year, 8 months ago, I stepped out of Scientology with the
help of a few key friends. Andreas from www.xenu.net, Bob Minton, Stacy
Brooks, and Jessie Prince of www.lisamcpherson.org/LMT were each totally key in my
getting out safely and in tact. My story is at www.xenu.net /archive/personal
story/Tory. Also the entire OSA story I am posting can be found at
www.lermanet.com under OSA spam.
But I just wanted to tell you how I am now 8 months later. When I left there
was a great deal of fear, no question about it. Actually probably up until a
few months ago, I really wasn't sure I could make it through all the sorrow
of losing all of my old friends, of 30 years. I was fine on "losing"
Scientology as it had been breaking apart, piece by piece since 1990 when I
got onto their second to the highest level, OT 7 and realized "that's IT???"
But I have posted about that in detail. About how I am doing, is where I
began. Basically I am feeling great~ I have walked through the Wall of losing
all of one's Friends….and as Andreas pointed out to me in confidence once I
hit the wall in the Truman show, "What kind of friends could those be, if
they will leave you because you changed your mind?" Nothing has stuck in my
mind throughout this entire 8 months as much as that. What IS that about?
Scientologists are SO heavily mind controlled that they cannot even see that
as something odd. That is just a fact, "and you knew the rules Tory", someone
just told me the other night. I ran into a friend at a Subway, and she
proceeded to pass on all the OSA lines oh so cleverly spread. She swore to me
she hadn't talked to anyone from OSA. However, everything she said was OSA
lines. Interesting how subtle they can be. She had NO clue they had gotten to
her, and she left insisting they had not. OF course not, if they had, she
might have to look at how that is?
Pre leaving I had numerous acquaintances, and a handful of what I thought
were my friends. I always felt I was under a microscope as most
Scientologists are always evaluating about others, and this would introvert
me. "Oh She is really 1.1" Really? I thought the person seemed really nice!
What is wrong with me? (and to you OSA ops, yes, I did worry about being
1.1…and you can laugh and say 'see she is!' The only one difference is I know
the truth, and you won't even look~ What tone level is that???) Every flue
season I would go through this. Whomever has the flue is immediately labeled
"PTS" …of course except if they have it. But undoubtedly I would get it, and
feel like such a "downstat" because I had the flue. Not to mind that much of
the rest of the town did too. It was still a yearly hassle for me. I had a
few friends who I honestly felf were cool, and I am still shocked to this day
that they turned on me so. But life rolls on.
Since I have left, I can honestly say that I have not had ONE DAY of this
same kind of weird worry about Tory. I just live my life, and my friends talk
with me. Even some on the Internet who have been against me are easier and
more joyous to talk to than most Scientologists. AT LEAST THEY WILL SAY HOW
THE REALLY FEEL!!! When you have lived for 30 YEARS as I have, feeling like I
am an outsider looking in, I cannot find the words to tell you the happiness
I have found from leaving this mind control Cult.
Always in Scientology I felt like I was never doing enough. That is part of
the control." You just aren't being responsible enough". But then when DM
announces we OT 7's (who had been corrected to death over and over for 7
years) were "only using 3 of the 59 tools". Did THEY take responsibility for
that? Hell no. Pay up, of shut up. Interesting how that works. They can screw
up over and over, and still say you have to pay up. That was what the Golden
Age of Tech was all about. Somehow ALL of the auditors trained for 30 some
years had been trained wrong, or incompletely? So now they not only needed to
re-do it ALL (which takes years), but also pay for it! If that is
responsibility, we need to talk. However their PR line is "We are helping you
by putting together ALL of this new tech that you need". It sounds good,
until you sit down and think about it. Now wait a minute? Didn't I pay for
every single step of what was promoted as 100% standard tech? Now you say it
wasn't and I am supposed to not only spend my time re-doing it, but pay for
it over again? This is unbelievable that anyone at all would fall for this!
But that isn't my problem any more. I have worried and worked hard for most
of my adult life to "get free". You can look at YEARS of my plans, and each
one is to "help other people get OT, or Help Clear the planet". My friend
recently said "You should figure out a life plan". I said I hated those, as I
had done zillions of "Admin Scales" and none ever worked, She pointed out,
"but I bet each began with "helping Clear the planet" right? We both had a
good long laugh. So my life is all new, and daily I find more wonderful
When I left, I still felt no one should say the word xenu. Now I post it on
almost every one of my posts. When I left I only thought DM was ruining
Scientology. Now I am learning there is way more to learn about what actually
is going down in Scientology. A great book to read is called, "Captive
Hearts, Captive Minds". When I left, I still thought we could all sit down
and work things out. Now, after spending 9 days with OSA trying (and failing)
to pin a Criminal conviction on me, I know differently.When I left I was
terrified about the top secrets I knew about OSA.Now I have posted almost all
of them for the world to read.
More special things have happened to me, and sometime in the future I will
tell you more. But for now, that is about it. I am happy and very thankful to
each and every friend who has helped me find my new life. To Andreas, Bob
Minton, Stacy, and Jessie Prince, I want to thank each of you publicly again
for your constant help and care for me. I wouldn't have made it without each
of you, and you will forever hold a joyous spot in my heart.
To the Barnes, Alan W, Heather, Arnie, Theresa, Jeff, and Ida (and my old
friend, Paul of NY), Ed, and Patricia…thank each of you for your compassion
and communications via the phone and offering a hand when needed. Man! You
have NO idea how much it has helped.
Legally I would like to thank the amazing John Merritt, Dan Leipold, Grahame
Berry and Bruce for their helping hands, brilliant minds, and courage to take
on this evil cult named Scientology. There are no doubt more attorneys, but
these are ones who have directly helped me in one way or the other.
In LA, there are some very special people who have helped me, and you know
who you are, and I know you don't want me to mention your names. But I cannot
say thank you enough also for each of your kind help!
I can tell you without a doubt ALL of the people who have helped me have
truly helped give me a new life. Each of you knows who you are.
The kindness I have experienced from people around the world has given me a
new hope for all mankind. There are SO many good people out there who care
and are willing to fight for what they believe in, it amazes me. Some have
for sure given me more than others, but every single person has been of great
help and joy to me. I would name people, but I am afraid I will leave some
out, and I am sure each of you knows who you are.
So there ya have a brief summary of Magoo, 8 months later.
If anyone is thinking of leaving and feels like they need someone to talk to,
or they just want to talk with me, please do. I am easily reachable at:
Please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Bless all of you~
Tory/Magoo~dancing in the moonlight~
In for 30 years
Out for 8 months
Free at last~
~dancing in the moonlight~
In for 30 YEARS
Out for 7 months
Free at last!
sworn upon the alter of God eternal hostility against every form of
tyranny imposed upon the mind of man." --Thomas Jefferson
I have sworn on the pages of ARS, and at www.xenu.net to fight this battle
of tyranny and suppression with the following message kept in mind:
All that it
takes for evil to triumph is for a good man or woman to stay